Podcast E12: Polarity: The Masculine Journey
This time, Mette Miriam Sloth interviews her husband, Sune Sloth, about how he works with and experiences polarity in their relationship. The angle focuses on things a woman might be curious to know.
About this AI Deep Dive: This episode features an AI-generated dialogue based 100% on the original teachings of Mette & Sune Sloth. It transforms our core concepts into an engaging conversation for deeper understanding.
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We discuss how he works with the ability to be open and what it requires of him: What "edges" does the man encounter when he wants to be available and open in his woman's loving presence? Where does he shut down, why does he do it, and how does he open up again? Does she have a role there?
We discuss how polarity can be experienced by a man, and we discuss the 3 stages of a relationship (described by David Deida).
In the conversation, we discuss how central the man's ability to maintain structure is, as well as the ability to let go of it when it no longer works and to recognize his own limitations.
We talk about competence - and how it plays a role in his ability to maintain focus in the relationship and thus on her. We also touch on the ability to take responsibility as a central part of the dance.
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Hey everyone, welcome to the deep dive. I'm excited for this one.
We're going to be your AI hosts for this special exploration. You see, we were actually commissioned to do this deep dive.
Oh yeah.
By Mette Miriam Sloth and Sune Sloth.
Now, you might know them from their Danish podcast, The Magdalin Effect,
right?
And they wanted us to take a look at one of their episodes, episode 12.
Yes.
And kind of unpack it, break it down for a wider English-speaking audience.
Exactly.
Which is really cool. So, episode 12, um,
this one is called Polarity and the masculine journey.
Okay.
And it's an interview format where Metate interviews Soon about his experiences as a man and the things that he's had to navigate in his life.
Okay. I'm already intrigued. So, what's the big takeaway here? What's the message that they want to get across to people?
Well, Sun Soon starts off by talking about this idea of men having all this like unrealized potential. Okay.
Um, and this kind of comes from this societal shift where women have really embraced self-development and exploring relationships and a lot of men haven't quite kept pace. with that. He even uses these very colorful Danish terms like b******* and self-tied boy, okay,
to describe this kind of superficiality that he thinks is keeping men from connecting with each other on a deeper level.
So it's like there's this gap between what society expects of men and what they actually desire.
Exactly. And you know, Mate, she makes this really astute observation, right? She noticed that women are often drawn to the potential that they see in men, particularly in romantic relationships. I see. So, it's like we're drawn to what they could be.
Yeah.
Not necessarily what they are.
Yeah. And then this desire to help them evolve can sometimes be exploited.
Oo, I see what you're saying. So, a man might use that dynamic to avoid taking responsibility for his own growth. Yeah.
And kind of depend on his partner to do all the heavy lifting.
Exactly. It's a really tricky balance.
For sure.
Between wanting to support someone, but also wanting to make sure that you're not enabling unhealthy patterns.
Yeah, definitely. So, how does Sunni kind of address this tension between societal expectations and this desire for deeper connection.
Well, he describes feeling this split, right? Like he describes it as being split between this drive for outward action and achievement, something that's very rewarded in men, in our society, and also this deep longing for intimacy and vulnerability.
Yeah. I feel like I hear this a lot. It's like there's this pull in two different directions, you know?
Exactly. He gives some really great examples, too. like a man who dedicates all of his time to work or hobbies, seeking validation through those things, but then struggles to be fully present in his relationship.
Oh, that is so true. Yeah, you see that a lot. Okay, so then what did he do? How did Sunn navigate this?
Well, he initially turned to practices like yoga and meditation, seeking a sense of transcendence and inner peace. But then he realized that real growth doesn't come from running away from the challenges in life. It's about confronting them, especially in the context of his relationships.
Oh wow. So it's not about escaping It's about going allin.
Exactly. He shifted from wanting to escape to wanting to embrace life's messiness as this catalyst for growth.
That's so interesting. So, he's not seeking solitude. He's seeking growth.
Yeah. He's seeking connection. And he realized that those really challenging moments in relationships, that's where the growth happens.
Yeah. And that makes you wonder how many of us are avoiding those challenging moments or conversations when they could actually lead us to deep intimacy and personal growth,
right? It's something to think about.
Definitely. And what's so fascinating to me is that this shift that he experienced didn't just affect his relationships, it actually impacted every area of his life.
That's right.
He talks about feeling more present and energized both in his personal life and his work life. So, it's like he tapped into something deeper.
Yeah. Like a flow state.
Yeah. Exactly. So, facing this fear of intimacy, confronting it actually helped him become more successful in other areas of his life.
Yeah. And It's a great example of how the inner work we do always ripples outward.
It's powerful.
Yeah. Impacting our relationships, careers, and just our overall sense of purpose.
This is already so insightful. And we haven't even gotten to the concept of polarity yet.
I know.
But I think we need to pause here and give our listeners some time to process all of this before we move on.
For sure. Okay. So, are we ready to explore this idea of polarity?
Yeah, let's dive in. I'm curious to see how this concept plays out in Mete and Sun's relationship and if there are any takeaways for us.
Well, they start by explaining that polarity isn't just about romantic relationships. It's about embracing the differences between masculine and feminine energy in all aspects of life. And they even share these funny anecdotes about their contrasting unfortunes to travel planning.
Oh, really? I want to hear about this. Tell me more.
Okay, so Mete is a meticulous planner. Like she loves to research all the details, the best restaurants, the most scenic hiking trails, you know, the whole nine yards.
Yeah.
Soon, on the other hand, he thrives on spontaneity.
Okay. He'd rather just show up and figure things out as they go, which I'm sure has led to some interesting situations.
Oh, I bet. So, how do they reconcile these very different approaches? Does they ever clash?
Oh, definitely. They admit that their contrasting styles have caused some friction in the past. You know, Met might get frustrated by Soon's lack of planning and Soon might feel stifled by Met's need for control. But here's the key. They've learned to see these differences not as weaknesses, but as strengths.
So, instead of trying to change each other, They found a way to appreciate and leverage their unique qualities.
Exactly. For example, if they run into a problem on one of their trips, maybe the hotel isn't what they expected, Matt might feel overwhelmed and just want to stay put.
But soon, with his problem-solving mindset, he'll jump right in, find a solution, and probably even enjoy the process.
That's a perfect example of how their differences work together. It's like they complete each other,
right? And they argue that this dynamic isn't limited to travel planning. It shows up in everyday life, you know? Okay.
They believe that embrace Facing these differences can bring more harmony and fulfillment.
I'm with him on that one for sure. So, how does this polarity idea connect to intimacy and sex? Is there a link?
Definitely. Soon believes that unresolved conflicts and power struggles in daily life directly impact what happens in the bedroom. He thinks underlying tension can create a disconnect that makes real intimacy difficult.
That makes sense. If you're carrying around baggage from those daily interactions, it's going to be hard to let go and truly connect.
Exactly. He's saying that a healthy Sexual connection is a reflection of a healthy overall dynamic.
So, it's not just about the physical stuff.
No, it's about addressing the emotional currents that flow through the relationship.
So, working on everyday conflicts and learning to embrace differences can lead to better sex.
That's the suggestion. And it's not just about improving your sex life. It's about a deeper connection that affects every part of your relationship.
So, where do we begin if we want to explore this polarity idea in our own relationships?
Suit emphasizes the importance of men owning their edge, you know, their drive, their focus, their problem solving abilities.
These are often seen as typical masculine traits,
right? But he stresses that these qualities need to be balanced with self-awareness and a sense of humor.
So, it's about harnessing that masculine energy in a healthy way.
Yes. And he thinks this balance is crucial for men to be vulnerable and connect more deeply,
which brings us back to the fear of intimacy we discussed earlier. It seems like by embracing both strengths and weaknesses, men can overcome that fear and become more com able with themselves
and that vulnerability is so important for intimacy. Met adds that women have a crucial role in this too. She describes the feminine energy as having this incredible ability to hold space for emotional depth and guide men toward greater awareness.
So, it's about creating a safe space where men can feel seen, heard, and loved unconditionally.
Exactly. It's about celebrating their authentic selves, encouraging them to let go of those masks society puts on them.
It's about creating a relationship where both both masculine and feminine energy can thrive and support each other's growth.
Right. And they challenge this idea that therapy is the only way to personal transformation.
Oh, interesting.
They suggest that healing and growth can happen organically within a loving relationship.
So, by working through conflicts, embracing differences, and supporting each other's emotional growth, we can transform our relationships into these powerful vehicles for personal evolution.
That's the idea. They see partnerships as this fertile ground for emotional work and big energetic shifts. They even introduced this idea of stage 4 in relationships, which they describe as this space of continuous exploration and expansion.
Stage four, that sounds intense. What is that all about?
It's where both partners confront their deepest fears and limitations to find authentic connection.
Stage four, that's a whole other level. Before we get into that, let's take a moment to reflect on what we've learned so far. All right, so this stage four, this mysterious stage four, it sounds like we're really pushing the boundaries of what's possible. In a relationship,
it is, you know, it's not just about being comfortable with each other's differences. It's about using those differences to grow and become even closer.
They describe it as this ongoing process of exploration where the old relationship rule book is thrown out the window.
So, it's not like we reach some sort of end goal where everything's perfect and there's no more conflict.
Not at all. They really emphasize that stage 4 is about embracing the messy reality of relationships and using those challenges to go deeper.
Makes sense to me. So, it's about seeing those difficult moments as invitations to learn and grow as a couple.
Yes. And soon actually mentions that this stage often involves dealing with emotional baggage and patterns that come up in the relationship. Things that might stem from childhood or past traumas, right?
And he suggests that these things can't always be resolved through individual therapy alone. Both partners really need to be involved.
So the relationship itself becomes like this catalyst for healing and transformation.
Exactly. Met adds that she believes we all have an incredible ability ility to heal ourselves and that intimate relationships can provide a powerful space for that healing to happen.
It sounds intense but also incredibly rewarding. Do they give any examples of what this actually looks like?
They do. They talk about reaching deeper levels of awareness and supporting each other through these huge emotional releases, what they call energetic shifts.
Okay. So, what are energetic shifts exactly?
Well, soon describes it as a tangible shift in their connection. Like there's this palpable energy between them
and And they both experience this heightened sense of presence, deeper emotional attunement, even increased sexual attraction.
Wow. So, it goes beyond just talking things out. It's about actually working with the energy between you two.
That's the idea. They emphasize that this kind of intimacy goes way beyond the physical or emotional. It's like connecting on a deeper level where you can truly sense and feel each other's presence.
That sounds like the kind of connection most people dream of, but I imagine it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to get there.
Absolutely. They acknowledge that this journey can be bumpy. Old patterns can resurface. You know, triggers and conflicts can come up, but they see these as opportunities to go even deeper to face those limiting beliefs and to come out stronger as individuals and as a couple.
It's like they're saying the real growth happens when you accept the messy, imperfect side of relationships.
Yeah. And use it as fuel for growth.
So powerful. Makes you wonder how many couples miss out on this depth because they're afraid of the challenges. Afraid of being vulnerable.
It's easy to get caught up in trying to create the perfect relationship and avoid conflict at all costs,
but Metate and Soon are suggesting a different approach. Embrace those messy moments because they're essential for growth and transformation.
I love that. It takes the pressure off being perfect and opens up so many possibilities.
Absolutely.
So, how do we explore this stage four in our own relationships?
Yeah. What's their advice?
Well, soon talks about how he started by doing a lot of introspection, working on himself, face ing his edge and clearing out his own internal blocks.
So, a lot of inner work before tackling the relationship stuff.
Yeah. But he also acknowledges that this might not work for everyone. There might be differences in how men and women approach this kind of emotional and energetic work.
Yeah, we all have different paths to walk,
right? And he says Mete played a huge role in his journey, helping him to see his blind spots and navigate those intense emotional releases.
It's so important to have a supportive partner who can hold space for you and challenge you to grow. Absolutely. So, we've covered a lot, but one thing that really stuck with me is how Met andSoon are saying that relationships can be this powerful path to personal growth and even spiritual evolution.
That's a powerful idea. They're challenging this belief that we need to fix ourselves before we can have a healthy relationship.
Right? Instead, they suggest that the relationship itself can be transformative, a catalyst for healing.
Such a beautiful message. It's about embracing the messiness, the vulnerability, and Recognizing that within those struggles lies the potential for something truly amazing.
And it's about committing to the journey of growth together and trusting the process.
Yeah. It's inspiring to think that we don't have to have everything figured out to have these deeply fulfilling relationships.
Absolutely. We can learn and grow together, supporting each other along the way.
That's what Meten Sud are encouraging us to do. Dive into the deep end of our relationships, embrace the unknown, and trust the journey.
And they mentioned they have a workshop where they share more about these concepts and offer practical tools for couples.
Oh, fantastic.
So, check out their website and Facebook page for more information.
We hope this deep dive has sparked your curiosity and inspired you to see the potential in your own relationships. Remember, intimacy requires vulnerability and a willingness to face those deeper emotions that run through our lives.
It's not always easy, but it's in those moments of vulnerability that we discover the true depths of love and connection.
And a huge thanks to Metate Miriam Sloth and Sunloth for sharing their wisdom. We encourage you to explore their work further and see how it can help you navigate your own relationships. Until next time, keep diving deep.
