Podcast E25: Developing Discernment
In this insightful podcast, Mette Miriam Sloth delves into the pervasive guilt that many women experience today. She highlights the significant impact of social media and the constant influx of information on women's lives.
About this AI Deep Dive: This episode features an AI-generated dialogue based 100% on the original teachings of Mette & Sune Sloth. It transforms our core concepts into an engaging conversation for deeper understanding.
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Understanding the Roots of Guilt
Guilt can feel like an unwelcome intruder, invading our lives and thoughts. It can arise in various situations, from the everyday challenges of balancing work and family to the constant pressure to live up to societal expectations.
The Amplifying Effect of Motherhood
Motherhood can often intensify feelings of guilt. As women navigate the complexities of raising children, they may experience heightened self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.
The Influence of Social Media
Social media platforms, particularly Instagram, can contribute to guilt and self-comparison. The curated images of seemingly perfect lives and the diverse opinions on motherhood, partnership, and womanhood can leave women feeling overwhelmed and questioning their own choices.
Anchoring in Self-Awareness
Developing a strong sense of self and understanding your core values is crucial. When you know who you are and what truly matters to you, you become less susceptible to the opinions and judgments of others.
Mindful Consumption of Information
Pay attention to how you feel when you're on social media or consuming information. If you experience negative emotions, it may be a sign to limit your exposure or adjust your habits.
Guilt as a Compass
Guilt can serve as a guide, pointing towards areas in your life where you may want to make changes or explore further.
Embracing Your Emotions
Be curious about your feelings and allow yourself to fully experience them. Instead of suppressing or ignoring guilt, use it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and grow as a person.
Taking Responsibility
Take ownership of your emotions and actions. Instead of blaming others for your guilt, work on understanding and managing your own reactions.
Navigating the Guilt of Others
It can be challenging to deflect the guilt projected by others. However, it's essential to learn how to set boundaries and protect yourself from their negative projections.
The Sensitivity of Personal Growth
As you engage in personal development, you may become more attuned to the emotions of others. This can make it more difficult to be around people who don't take responsibility for their own feelings and actions.
The Power of Saying No
You have the right to say no and pursue your own path. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your own needs is not selfish; it's an act of self-care.
Love and Freedom
Love and freedom are interconnected. To experience genuine love in your relationships, it's vital to grant both yourself and others the freedom to be who you truly are.
Practical Tips for Managing Guilt
Mette Miriam Sloth offers valuable advice on how to navigate guilt:
Explore the feeling: Investigate the underlying reasons behind your guilt. Is there something you need to address, or is it simply noise you can ignore?
Shift your state: Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This could involve physical movement, listening to music, watching a lighthearted movie, or spending time with loved ones.
Practice self-compassion: Remember that changing old patterns takes time. Celebrate your progress and be patient with yourself when you stumble.
This podcast provides valuable insights into the guilt that many women experience today. Mette Miriam Sloth's advice and perspectives can empower women to understand, manage, and overcome the negative spiral of self-blame and doubt.
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Hey there. Welcome to your personalized deep dive. We're your AI hosts. And uh before we jump in, we want to let you know that we've been asked by Mette Miriam Sloth.
Oh, cool.
To explore some of the themes from her Danish podcast, The Magdalene Effect.
Okay.
She's hoping to reach a wider English-speaking audience. I see.
Which is where we come in.
Oh, right.
Yeah. So, specifically, we'll be diving into episode 25, developing discernment.
This episode really struck a chord with uh Mets listeners
and she wanted to share these insights with even more people.
Makes sense.
So, think of us as your guides through the source material.
Okay.
A summary of the episode and the audio itself.
All right.
Okay. Let's unpack this. Met's episode is all about navigating guilt.
A feeling that can be incredibly pervasive.
Oh, absolutely.
Wouldn't you say?
And what's fascinating is how Metate breaks down the different ways guilt manifests in our lives, particularly for women today.
It's not just about big obvious things, but those subtle,
right,
almost insidious ways, it creeps into our everyday experiences,
feeling like we're constantly falling short.
Yes.
Whether it's at work, in our relationships, or as mothers, I feel like that resonates with so many women.
Yes. And Mate doesn't shy away from the complexities of motherhood at all.
She talks about the immense pressure women face to balance everything perfectly while facing constant judgment from society.
It's almost like this impossible standard that we're held to, right?
Absolutely.
And then you add social media into the mix.
Oh, yeah.
And it's no wonder so many of us are struggling with guilt.
Social media is a huge amplifier of guilt. And Medi uses Instagram as a prime example.
Yeah.
Imagine you're scrolling through these perfectly curated feeds, seeing everyone's highlight reels, right?
And it's so easy to start comparing yourself and feeling inadequate.
Totally. It makes you really question
how much time you're spending on social media and what impact it's having on your mental well-being. I love how Met encourages her listeners to be more mindful of their social media habits and pay attention to how they feel while scrolling.
That's such a simple yet powerful practice, isn't it?
Yeah.
If you're noticing feelings of envy, inadequacy,
right,
or just a general sense of negativity while you're on social media. Yeah.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate how you're using it.
Maybe it's about setting some boundaries like limiting your time on certain apps, right?
Or being more selective about who you follow.
That's so true.
Yeah.
It's about taking control of your experience rather than letting it control you.
Absolutely.
Now, here's where things get really interesting.
Okay.
Met talks about reframing guilt as a potential compass.
It's such a brilliant concept.
Yeah.
Instead of seeing guilt as purely negative, right?
She suggests it might be a signal,
pointing towards areas in our lives where we need to make some changes or explore further. So it's less about beating ourselves up and more about using guilt as information to guide us.
Exactly. For example, let's say you constantly feel guilty,
okay,
about not spending enough time with your family.
Mhm.
That guilt could be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your priorities or set some boundaries at work.
I see.
Or maybe you're feeling guilty about not pursuing a creative passion.
Right.
That could be a signal to carve out some time for yourself and explore that side of you.
I see what you mean. It's like guilt is trying to tell us something.
Yeah.
And it's up to us to listen and figure out what that message is,
right? It's about getting curious about what's causing that guilt.
Metate suggests asking yourself,
"Yeah,
is there a genuine issue here that needs my attention or is this just mental noise I can let go of?"
That's such a helpful question. Okay, so let's say we've identified that the guilt is signaling something important.
What are some practical steps we can take to actually manage it and move forward?
Mate offers some great advice. Okay,
first she emphasizes the importance of engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace, things that shift your state.
Okay,
this could be anything from going for a run or doing yoga to listening to music, spending time in nature, or reading a good book.
It's about making time for those things that replenish you, right? And not feeling guilty about taking that time for yourself.
Exactly. Self-care is crucial here.
Yeah.
And Meet's second piece of advice is all about self-compassion.
Okay.
She reminds reminds us that changing old patterns takes time and effort,
right?
And it's okay to be patient with ourselves along the way.
That's a good reminder for all of us. It's so easy to get caught up in self-criticism, especially when we're trying to make positive changes. We need to be our own cheerleaders, wouldn't you say?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Celebrating those small victories and giving ourselves permission to stumble along the way is so important.
Now, this is where a MET delves into a really crucial aspect of navigating guilt.
Okay,
discerning your feelings from the feelings of others,
especially in close relationships. Oh, that's a tough one.
It's so easy to get tangled up in other people's emotions, especially when you care deeply about them,
right? And Meta asks this really insightful question.
Okay.
In difficult situations, how do you know what is your responsibility and what belongs to the other person?
Wow, that is a powerful question.
Yeah.
And one that I think many of us struggle with,
right?
How do we even begin to untangle that? Well, Mate suggests that when conflicts arise, especially heated ones,
it's crucial to step away from the situation and give yourself space to individually examine what's happening internally.
It's about taking a pause and really tuning into your own experience before reacting.
Exactly. It's not about blaming the other person, right?
But rather understanding your own reactions and what they're telling you.
Mhm.
Mate talks about this concept of feeling your system running after a conflict.
What do you mean by feeling your system running?
It's about paying attention to those physical sensations that come up during or after a disagreement. A racing heart, tense muscles, a naw in your stomach,
maybe even feeling shaky or lightaded.
Okay,
these are valuable data points that can help you understand the intensity of your reaction.
That's so interesting. It's like our bodies are giving us clues about what's going on beneath the surface.
Exactly. And what MET emphasizes is that instead of trying to immediately fix or suppress those feelings.
Okay,
try to simply be with them.
Allow them to unfold and speak to you.
That sounds like a real challenge, especially when we're conditioned to push down uncomfortable emotions,
right?
How do we actually do that? Just sit with those feelings.
It's definitely a practice and it might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but the more you can allow yourself to experience those emotions without judgment,
yeah,
the more you'll learn about what they're trying to tell you.
Metaday connects this to the idea of feminine practice. Okay.
Allowing emotions to unfold and speak rather than shutting them down.
That's a beautiful way to think about it. Yeah.
It sounds like a journey of self-discovery.
It is.
And maybe even a form of empowerment.
It absolutely is. And while self-exploration is incredibly valuable. Yeah.
Med also acknowledges that seeking support from therapists
or trusted individuals can be immensely helpful in this process.
We don't have to do this work alone.
It's like having a compassionate guide to help you. navigate those tricky emotional waters. Okay. So, where do we go from here? What are the next steps in this journey of developing discernment and navigating guilt?
Well, Mate highlights two crucial areas to focus on. Okay?
Developing your personal power and honing your ability to discern what is truly yours to carry versus what belongs to others.
And guess what?
What?
These two areas are deeply intertwined.
Ooh, I'm intrigued. Tell me. more.
The more you understand your own wounds,
okay,
patterns and triggers, the easier it becomes to recognize when someone else is pushing those buttons,
it's like developing this internal radar that helps you set healthier boundaries and protect your energy.
That makes so much sense. It's like, oh, this intense reaction isn't actually about what's happening right now. It's tapping into something deeper for my past.
Exactly. And that awareness is key to setting boundaries and preventing yourself from getting pulled into unnecessary drama
or taking on other people's emotional baggage. age.
So, how does this tie into the idea of personal power
when you're able to discern what belongs to you and what belongs to others?
Yeah,
you're essentially reclaiming your power.
You're no longer at the mercy of other people's emotions or manipulations.
And this is where Met introduces this really fascinating concept of feminine wrath. Feminine wrath. It might sound intimidating, but it's actually about reclaiming a powerful part of ourselves that's often been oppressed or demonized.
Yeah. When I hear wrath, I think of like fiery rage and destruction. But it sounds like Met is talking about something much more nuanced.
Exactly. It's not about lashing out or becoming aggressive. It's about channeling that anger, that fierce energy in a constructive way. Think of it as righteous anger standing up for yourself and what you believe in and refusing to be mistreated or silenced.
So, it's more about setting boundaries and having the courage to say no when something doesn't align with your values or needs.
Absolutely. And it's about doing so with clarity and conviction, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
That can be so challenging, though, especially for women who have been conditioned to be people pleasers or to prioritize harmony above their own needs.
You're so right. It takes a lot of courage to break free from those societal expectations. But Medi believes that tapping into this feminine wrath is essential for women to truly step into their power and create lives that feel authentic and fulfilling.
It's like we've been told to suppress our anger for so long, but what if that anger is actually a source of strength? What if it's trying to protect us from being taken advantage of or staying in situations that aren't serving us?
That's a great way to put it. It's about reclaiming that energy and using it to fuel positive change in our lives.
I love that. So, how does this all tie back to developing discernment?
Well, when we can tap into that inner strength, that feminine wrath, we're less likely to be swayed by guilt trips or emotional manipulation. We can see through those tactics and make choices that are truly aligned with our own values.
So, like having that internal compass guiding you, and helping you stay true to yourself no matter what external pressures you're facing.
Exactly. And here's where things get even more interesting. Met suggests that this journey of developing discernment isn't just about protecting ourselves from negativity. It's also about opening ourselves up to more love and joy.
How does setting boundaries and saying no lead to more love and joy? How those things are often seen as opposites?
That's a great question. It might seem counterintuitive, but when we can say no to what's not serving us, we create space for what truly brings us joy.
We're no longer wasting our energy on things that drain us or people who don't appreciate us.
I see what you mean. It's like when you're not constantly trying to please everyone else or conform to expectations, you're free to pursue your own passions and cultivate relationships that feel genuinely supportive and uplifting.
Absolutely. And Met believes that this ability to set boundaries is crucial for creating healthy, fulfilling relationships. When we can honor our own needs and communicate them clearly, we invite others to do the same. That makes so much sense. It's about creating a dynamic of mutual respect and understanding where both people feel safe to be themselves and express their needs openly.
Exactly. And here's another fascinating layer to this. Met believes that true love requires freedom.
Okay, tell me more about that.
I'm intrigued.
She believes that trying to control or change someone else, even with the best intentions, is actually stifling the love that's there. It creates a dynamic of power and dependence rather than a partnership built on mutual trust and respect.
So, it's about allowing each person the space to grow and evolve, even if that means they change in ways we don't necessarily expect or prefer.
Yes. It's about trusting that the other person is capable of making their own choices and navigating their own journey. And it's about having the faith that the relationship can withstand those changes and even become stronger as a result.
That's a beautiful way to think about love. It's not about possessiveness or control, but about supporting each other's growth and evolution.
Right? And this is where discernment comes in again. It's about being able to see the other person clearly, both their strengths and their weaknesses, and to accept them as they are.
So, it's not about trying to change them or fix them, but about appreciating them for who they are in this moment.
Exactly. And it's also about being able to see yourself clearly to understand your own needs and boundaries, and to communicate them effectively.
This is all so insightful. I'm wondering how does Matt suggest we actually put this into practice in our daily lives?
It can feel overwhelming. to think about changing such deeply ingrained patterns.
She offers some really practical tips and one of the most powerful is to start by paying attention to our bodies.
Our bodies. What do you mean by that?
She encourages us to notice her physical sensations, especially in those moments when we're feeling triggered, overwhelmed, or emotionally charged. For example, do we feel tension in our chest, a tightness in our throat, a knot in our stomach?
I never really thought about it like that before, but it makes sense. Our bodies are constantly giving us fe back if we're just willing to listen.
Exactly. And often those physical sensations are our first clue that something is off. They're like little red flags saying, "Hey, pay attention here. Something needs your attention."
So, it's about tuning into those signals and then figuring out what they're trying to tell us. Like, what's going on emotionally that's causing this physical reaction?
Yes. It's about asking ourselves, "What am I feeling right now? Where do I feel it in my body? What is this feeling trying to tell me?"
It sounds like a practice in mindfulness, almost like a form of meditation. bringing your awareness to your body and your emotions in the present moment.
It is it's about bringing awareness to our present moment experience without judgment or resistance. And what's amazing is that even a few minutes of this practice each day can make a huge difference in our ability to manage our emotions and respond to situations with more clarity and composure.
Okay, so let's say we've tuned into our bodies and identified some of those feelings that are coming up.
What does MET suggest we do with those feelings? Especially the unc comfortable ones like anger, sadness, or resentment.
Here's where she really emphasizes the importance of self-compassion. She reminds us that it's okay to feel whatever we're feeling. We don't have to fix it, change it, or push it away.
That's so different from what we're often taught to just buck up and get over it. Sounds like she's encouraging us to actually embrace those emotions, even the messy ones.
Exactly. It's about allowing those feelings to simply be there without judgment. And it's about giving ourselves permission to experience them fully without shame. or guilt.
I can imagine that's a radical act for many people, especially those who have been taught to suppress their emotions or to believe that certain feelings are bad or unacceptable.
You're absolutely right. But many believe that when we suppress our emotions, they don't just disappear. They get stuck in our bodies and can create all sorts of problems both physically and emotionally. It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. It takes a lot of effort and eventually it's going to pop back up, often in ways we don't expect.
That's such a great analogy. So, it's about letting those feelings flow through us almost like a river, allowing them to surface, acknowledge them, and then let them move on.
Yes. It's about allowing them to move through us and eventually release. And here's the fascinating part. When we can do this, we actually create more space for joy, love, and connection.
That's so interesting. It's like by making peace with the darkness, we allow more light to enter our lives.
Exactly. And this brings us back to developing discernment. When we're more attuned to our own emotions, we're also better able to discern the emotions of others.
You mean we become more empathetic, more sensitive to what other people are feeling?
Yes. But it's more than just empathy. It's about being able to sense their energy and pick up on their subtle cues. It's like developing our emotional intelligence, which allows us to navigate relationships with more awareness and skill.
So, it's like being able to read the room, so to speak, and understand the dynamics at play.
Exactly. And it's also about being able to hold space for other people's emotions without taking them on as our own.
That's a really important distinction. It's like we can empathize with someone without getting sucked into their drama or allowing their emotions to dictate our own.
You got it. And that's the beauty of discernment. It allows us to stay grounded in our own experience even when we're surrounded by chaos or strong emotions.
This is all so empowering. It feels like Med is giving us the tools to navigate life's challenges with more grace and ease.
She absolutely is. And I think that's a perfect segue into the final part of our deep dive where we'll explore Met's vision for the future and the empowering message she has for all women.
Welcome back to the deep dive. We're wrapping up our exploration of Met Miriam Sloth's The Magdalene Effect podcast and uh her episode on developing discernment.
It's been quite a journey, hasn't it? We've explored the nature of guilt, learned how to reframe it, and even tapped into the power of feminine wrath.
Yeah, I feel like we've gained so many valuable insights already, but I'm really curious to hear what Medvisions for the future. What does she see as possible for women as they embrace these practices?
Well, she paints this beautiful picture of women who are fully embodied, embracing both their strength and vulnerability. They're deeply connected to their intuition and inner wisdom, and they're no longer afraid to express the full spectrum of their emotions.
That sounds incredibly liberating, like finally being able to break free from those old societal expectations and step into our authentic selves.
You got it. It's about shedding those layers of self-doubt and suppression and stepping into new paradigm of authenticity and power.
I love that. But how does this relate to the idea of discernment? It seems like we've been talking about a lot of different concepts, but I'm curious how they all tie together.
It's all interconnected. Think of it this way. When we're more in tune with ourselves, our emotions, our needs, our boundaries, we naturally become more discerning. We can sense what's truly aligned with our values and what's not. We're no longer swayed by external pressures or other people's opinions.
It's like having this internal filter that helps helps us navigate the world with more clarity and confidence.
Exactly. And that confidence spills over into our relationships, too. It allows us to create connections that are based on mutual respect, trust, and freedom.
That sounds like the ideal. But I'm also wondering, how do we actually get there? How do we cultivate this level of discernment in a practical everyday sense?
Met emphasizes that it's a daily practice, not a destination. It's about showing up for ourselves consistently, even when it feels uncomfortable or challenging.
So, what does that look like in practice. Can you give us some examples?
Absolutely. It could be anything from spending time in nature journaling or meditating to simply taking a few deep breaths throughout the day. The key is to find practices that help you stay connected to yourself, to that inner wisdom that already exists within you.
It's about creating those little rituals that nourish your soul and remind you of your own strength or worth.
Yes. And it's also about surrounding yourself with people who support your growth and who challenge you to become the best version of yourself. Community is so important on this journey.
That makes so much sense. We need those people who believe in us, who encourage us to step outside our comfort zones, and who remind us of our own power when we start to doubt ourselves.
Exactly. And here's something I find really inspiring about Met's message. She believes that the more women who embrace their power and their discernment, the more the world will shift towards a more balanced and harmonious state.
Wow, that's a beautiful vision. It's like a ripple effect, right? Yeah.
When one of us rises, we create a wave that lifts up others around us. Absolutely. She's reminding us that we're all interconnected and that our individual journeys of self-discovery and empowerment have the power to create positive change on a collective level.
So, as we wrap up this deep dive into the Magdalene effect, what's the key takeaway you'd like to leave our listener with?
I think it's this. You have the power to create the life you desire. You have the wisdom within you to make choices that are aligned with your highest good. And you have the strength to break free from any patterns that are holding you back. Beautifully said. And if you're feeling inspired to explore these themes further, we highly encourage you to check out Met Miriam Sloth's podcast, The Magdalene Effect.
It's a treasure trove of wisdom and practical tools for women who are ready to embrace their full potential and create lives that feel authentic, joyful, and deeply fulfilling.
Thank you for joining us on this deep dive. We hope you've gained some valuable insights and feel empowered to step more fully into your own power.
Until next time, keep exploring, keep growing, and keep trusting your inner compass. You've got this.
